Everyone has certain expectations and needs in life – be it sexually or otherwise. But if you are with someone and have some fantasies that you want to try, then you have to communicate the same with your partner. If you truly want to enjoy a fantasy, you must be able to openly share it with your partner without shame or guilt. But as with communication, we see that often couples are not able to convey this to each other. The communication isn’t effective even if they talk. So, here are some tips to share and explore your sexual fantasies with your partner.
1. Evaluate parameters
Understand and see if you and your partner have the same relationship/sexual goals. Your pleasure in intimacy depends a lot on this. If you want to be intimate emotionally and physically then talking about your fantasies beforehand is important. So, evaluate what you want when getting intimate and then decide if you want to have the conversation or not.
2. Understand your own fantasies
Before you talk about your fantasies you must take time to think about it yourself. You may want to engage in certain sex acts, but understand what motivates you for that, what is it exactly that you are looking for. Based on this, you may want to manage the flow of the sexual conversation.
3. Avoid weirding out
Don’t feel weird when you are talking about your fantasies. This may show up on your face, your voice, and your expressions. If you feel weird, how are you going to convince your partner to try something new? Don’t look like you are freaking out, your partner may get freaked out as well. Create the mood for a comfortable conversation, set the mood and then talk. Communicate what you want, freely and without being weird about it. If you want some inspiration on sex, check out eroticastory.ca.
4. Decide what to share
Now for most of you, sharing all the kinky, fetishes, and desires outright may not be possible or even the best way to go about it. Just imagine, you think your partner is very comfortable with missionary and that is all you have done. Then one day suddenly you tell him/her that you want to set up a BDSM playroom in your house. They will get the shock of their lives. Instead, take baby steps and decide what you want to share initially. As you continue talking, you may want to share more.
Whenever you are having an important conversation you need to set the stage. You cannot just walk in from work one day and say that you want to enact some fantasy. Setting the stage is important so that the listener is attentive and can try to absorb some of the information you have shared. This is precisely why all-important meetings are prepped for in advance, with the meeting room, any devices if needed, and the people who need to be present.
6. Talk the “talk”
Talk about your fantasy with your partner after you have set the environment and the both of you are comfortable. Don’t just casually mention it in passing and think that it is done. No; put emphasis on it and talk a bit more about it. Like any good speech, it will be great if you can plan an introduction to the topic and talk in length about your desires and fantasies and what you would like to try out.
7. Swap stories
You can talk about any personal experiences that you both have had. Or another option is to share erotic fiction with your partner. Erotic stories are a great way to explore what you may want or not want to do. You can read a story that depicts a fantasy that you would have had and want to try out. It is a good way of slowly letting your partner get used to the idea of that fantasy. Discuss on why a particular story turned you on. It is much less daunting than directly telling your partner about that fantasy. It can open the conversation and create an environment for comfortable discussions.
8. Be prepared for the reaction
Don’t expect that your partner will readily embrace all your fantasies, especially when you have never shared them before. This is why it is important to slowly introduce your partner to your desires. But even if you tell them about it and they have a negative reaction, be prepared for it. A sudden declaration of a kinky fantasy may not always be met with approval. However, this reaction is in no way determinant about the future of your fantasies with your partner. Who knows, he or she may accept it after they have had time to digest the information.
9. Empathize and accept
Don’t let your fears rule, as everyone has different tastes. But be empathetic with your partner and respect their desires too. The whole reason why relationships work long term is that two people find a middle ground. Accept each other’s sexual fantasies. Don’t just expect that your partner will accept your fantasies but you don’t have to do the same. If your partner is taking that extra step to make you feel better, then you must do your part too.
10. Effect on pleasure
Consider the effect on each other’s pleasure, that this declaration will have. Will you want to try out something immediately? If yes, how would you go about ensuring your partner’s pleasure? Will you need to be extra attentive to them as you seek your pleasure with the fantasy? These are some questions you may want to think about as you share your sexual fantasies. For more information about passion and pleasure made especially for women toys check V for Vibes
Being able to freely talk about sex and sharing sexual desires is one of the most amazing feelings. And if your partner is accepting or even willing to give a patient hearing to what you have to say is a big step in the right direction. Ultimately, the goal is pleasure and satisfaction for both partners.