We often think of a girl in her silky PJs with a face mask on and doing her nails when we think of self-care. But did you know that sex and self-care are linked? Indulging in regular self-care can benefit your sex life, and also sex can be a part of your self-care regime.
Snag your self-care sex toys for women, and let’s talk about it, shall we?
What is Self-Care?
Self-care is a term we’ve been hearing a lot in the last few years. If you’ve been buried under a rock and don’t know what self-care is, here’s your definition: looking after your basic health needs without the help of another person.
While this definition seems to cover the necessities, such as showering, brushing your teeth, eating, etc., nowadays we interpret it to encompass doing anything that helps our mental and physical well being … really doing anything that makes us feel good and healthy.
And self-care can be practical activities as well as conscious thoughts and boundaries. For example, a practical activity might be taking a bubble bath, and a thought and boundary practice might be avoiding toxic people in your life. Within self-care, sex is often involved, whether it be through masturbation or intercourse with another person. Orgasms release feel-good endorphins, right?
Masturbation as Part of Self-Care
Masturbating is one of the many self-indulgent things you can do completely on your own to make yourself feel good. It’s the definition of self-care! Forget whatever you’ve been told: you do not need a partner to have an orgasm.
Masturbating is not always about the orgasm in the end either; it’s about touching and worshiping your body and allowing it to do its thing without anyone else watching. Top tip: next time you’re flicking your bean, and you feel your body tensing up as the pleasure intensifies, try as best you can to relax your muscles and just let the orgasm take over your body. You’ll be amazed at what the body can do! Experiment with various vibrating sex toys to discover new sensations and increase overall pleasure.
And why make masturbation a routine thing? It reduces stress, promotes sleep, and can help with period cramps. Not to mention that people who masturbate tend to be more likely to get a promotion at work. So it’s an all-around great thing for your health and success, I’d say!
How Self-Care Affects your Sex Life
It’s obvious that the less stressed you are, the more you’re going to enjoy having sex. Indulging in self-care or generally looking after yourself contributes to you succeeding as a human being, aka, having your sh*t together.
And people who have their sh*t together generally ooze very attractive confidence. And with attraction comes the desire to have sex with said confident person.
Do you see how the circle of wellness and sex works? If you don’t feel good, people will notice this. Nobody wants to be around people who haven’t showered, are tired AF, and are stressed to the high heavens. If you feel good, people will notice it and want to be around you.
The more confident you feel in other areas of your life, the more confident you will feel in bed with that hot guy you’ve been fancying for a while. So instead of pining after him, get on with your life, look after yourself, and eventually, he’ll be pining after you, not the other way around.
Never actively indulged in a little self-care? Here are some ideas for things you can do:
- Have a luxurious bath or shower: Get out your best bath or shower bombs, put on your favorite music or TV show, light some candles, and enjoy! Hot water does wonders for relaxing the body, especially when you’re on your period, have been out in the cold, and/or are generally stressed out from work.
- Remember to moisturize immediately after a bath or shower. To retain its levels of moisture and prevent any skin dryness, it’s recommended to moisturize your body within the first three minutes of getting out of the bath or shower. Body Shop Body Butter, anyone?
- Do your nails: While stereotypical, this is actually a good mindfulness activity you can do if you want to take your mind off things and keep your hands busy. Choose your color, put a good show on and get filing.
- Reading: Not many people take the time out of their day to read nowadays, which is why it is such a good activity to do during your self-care time. Switch all the screens in your house off, curl up in a blanket, and just read. It does wonders for the soul. And it doesn’t matter what you read, whether you choose a rom-com, an autobiography, or Greek mythology. Read what you love!
- Light a candle: Candles are great for creating that cozy vibe that we’d otherwise get from a fireplace. If you, like me, live in a city apartment and not a house in the country, get yourself some good quality candles to light at night. Opt for paraffin-free candles like soy, coconut, or rapeseed candles.
- Paraffin, which is derived from petroleum, releases toxic chemicals into the air that can affect some people with a sensitivity to them; you might get itchy or burning eyes, or the fumes might make you cough or give you a tight chest. Vegetable-based waxes don’t release such fumes and are therefore much better for you in the long run. They also stem from renewable resources, which petroleum-derived paraffin does not.
- Make candles: If you like to craft, why not make your own candles? Candle-making is a great way to spend an evening because it takes time. You have to wait for the wax to come to the perfect temperature, then you have to wait for it to cool to the perfect pouring temperature, so there’s a lot of patience involved, which will in a way force you to calm down.
- Then you get to have fun with choosing the jar and fragrance oils. To get started, I recommend getting a candle-making kit from a candle supplies company. The basics you need are a metal or glass jug that you don’t use for cooking, heat proof jars, candle wicks and stickers, a wick clip or pin to hold the wick in place, wax, fragrance oil, or essential oils, and a digital thermometer.
- Once you have the basic kit, you can always add to it. The best thing about a crafting activity during your self-care sesh is that you actually have something you can use afterward for self-care. So practical!
- Cook or bake something: If you love cooking, spend some time cooking or baking something luxurious. Forget about the diet and make something that you really crave, whether it be a decadent chocolate fudge cake or homemade pasta. Push the boat out and treat yo’self.
- Set boundaries: This one is not so much an activity and more of an active approach to life on a daily basis. A great way to stay sane in this busy, chaotic world is to set boundaries to things that stress you out. If you crave a good work-life balance, make a promise to yourself to say no to your boss when they send you a last-minute request right before you log off for the day.
- If you just can’t do negativity right now, put that friend on mute. If you don’t give a crap about that guy you went on one date with but who keeps texting you, block them. Like now! You don’t owe anyone anything. Remember this every day, and you will be setting boundaries in no time. Just having boundaries alone is enough to reduce a lot of stress. Think of it as passive, long-term self-care.
Self-care is not what it seems. It’s not all bubble baths and nail polish. However, it can be if you want it to be. Think about what makes you feel rested and happy and do that thing. Set boundaries for yourself, no matter how harsh you think you’re being to other people.
With communication being so instant these days, people expect a response immediately, and we feel bad for not giving it to them. But this ‘instant’ culture is what’s got us all riled up in the first place, making us need more self-care time. Think of the things in your busy life that drive you nuts and that you don’t have time for, and think of a way that you can either get rid of that thing or reduce its impact on your life.
This will do more for you than a bubble bath ever will. Although the bubble bath will probably feel even more relaxing if your life is a tad less filled with unnecessary stressors.
Sex can be part of your self-care, or it doesn’t have to be. The key takeaway to know is that you will feel good if you look after yourself, and people will be more likely to want to have sex with you. Then again, the very act of having sex makes you feel good and counts as self-care, so draw your own conclusions on this one…