If you recently got divorced and want to know about the parenting tips to help your kids thrive during the Holidays? Then take out a pen and notepad. There are a long number of things you need to keep in mind while having holidays after divorce. A delightful and nicely planned holiday can transform into a stressful and emotional holiday if you don’t care about some necessary things.
Your children may not feel good as this time both of the parents are not joining the trip together especially your younger children. Usually, teens don’t create a huge issue about the divorce of their parents. They understand the need for the divorce between their parents and appreciate their decision while younger children want their both parents to be with them.
Most of the children also think that they are disloyal to the parent with whom they are spending lesser time. You must don’t let your children being torn between both parents. For that, you need to negotiate a fully scheduled holiday. Plan the things by keeping in mind the flexibility of the other parent. You should do what is necessary to clear your children’s loyalty conflicts.
You need to tell them that it’s normal for two people to be separated. Tell them that you guys that nothing to do with this divorce and our relation will remain the same. Let them know that this is a temporary hard time and we will go through this phase very soon.
The other important thing is to respect the opinion of your ex-spouse. You should listen to what he or she is trying to explain. Of course, they will not misguide as they are also one of their parents. Build such relation with your ex-spouse that you can call them anytime and ask for clarification if you are confused about something. You may do the final decision but at least learn about the objective of the other parent.
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Following these tips can help your kids thrive during the holidays:
Prioritize Your Kids
Ask your children about the place they want to visit. This time, let them decide the location for spending a holiday. This will also make your kids realize that you take care of their opinion and give importance to them. You must talk about the choice of your children before going anywhere as children also hesitate to the places after their parents. For example, if there are four different events in a day, then you can ask your children where they want to go.
The most important thing is to have a parenting plan. If you haven’t made it yet then you need to get it done with your ex-spouse on a priority basis. A parenting plan is the best helper for the co-parents. It is basically an agreement that includes the rules and schedule for children. You must determine the option on how you will get off from the children’s school when there is a special event or holiday. Discuss the activities you have planned to do on holiday with your ex-spouse. He may create an issue later if any unusual thing happens that’s why planning things in advance is always a good plan. Even if you already have a parenting plan, make sure to upgrade it after some time.
Keep things smooth
Good planning of a weekend is also very important for enjoying a stress-free and smooth holiday. You must go for healthy co-parenting and don’t fight at least while deciding about a good event. Planning all the things in advance is a good option to avoid the problems that may arise during the holiday. Always have a second plan in case of any emergency. The children get upsets with the plan that gets canceled at the last minute. What if one of your children gets sick or any unexpected guest comes to see you guys. It also will help you maintain a good relationship between you and your kids.
Don’t express out your anger on your ex-spouse in front of children
The main objective of planning a holiday is to refresh minds and have a break from the daily normal routine. At this time, if you start expressing your anger towards your ex-spouse then things can definitely go wrong. A single fight during a holiday can ruin the whole plan. You need to remember that you have planned this trip for increasing the positive energy not for increasing the stress.
It’s necessary for you to treat your ex as a co-parent. You need to remember that your relationship is finished but she or he is still one of the parents of your children. You need to build your relation of being a co-parent as collaboration. Maintain your behavior with your ex as the relation have with your co-workers. As you ignore the mistakes of your coworkers, in the same way, do it for your ex being a co-parent.
Along with children, you also need to know that a refreshing trip is also important for you too. Taking care of children is good but you should also remember yourself. Remember that you get divorced for having a peaceful life. You need to know the importance of self-care too. Make sure you are getting proper sleep and a healthy diet. Keep in mind that you can take care of your children only if you take care of yourself first. If you are not mentally and physically fine and obviously your children can’t also be fine.
On the other hand, you need to work on having good relation with your ex-spouse. You can also take help from a divorce coach, mediator, or going to a professional therapist. There is nothing wrong with seeking help. Holidays include a wonderful time of the year. Make sure that every single holiday is full of happiness and joy.