How Do You Calm Yourself Down During a Difficult Time?


Difficulties and obstacles are not uncommon in our lives. We get sad, we get upset, we look for explanations as to why things happened the way they did, and we can’t believe they happened to us. A person experiences different situations and life periods, including both positive and pleasant events and times of difficult trials. Individual experiences determine the complexity of life stages, and many life situations can be experienced as problematic. As a result, our lives become different, not the same as before.

We continue to live, which means we still have a chance to be happy. The only thing that is needed is our sincere desire. However, since there are no known ways out of the current situation, it is necessary to move to a new level of their capabilities, access the hidden resources, and discover previously unknown and unclaimed abilities which you did not even guess. For example, even a slight loss at can trigger a person’s nervous repression.

What is a difficult life situation?

A difficult life situation is a situation in which, as a result of external influences or internal changes, your habitual activities are disrupted. As a result, you cannot meet your basic life needs through ways of behavior developed in previous periods of life. These are situations in which there is a danger to your physical or mental health, which occur unexpectedly, for reasons you do not understand and beyond your control, accompanied by a loss of loved ones, the meaning of life, previous values, etc.

The basics of self-help

  • How can I feel when I find myself in a difficult situation in life?
  • Everything is hopeless;
  • I want to cry and only think about the worst;
  • The pain is unbearable;
  • everything is useless, and no one needs me;
  • my body feels like it does not belong to me, and sometimes I want to freeze and not move.

If any of these symptoms are typical of you, you have experienced a difficult life situation. However, please don’t assume it was due to the wrong behavioral strategy. There is no “right” and “wrong” way to react to a problematic life situation: feeling, thinking, and acting. Therefore, you should not blame yourself or others for specific actions. Your behavior is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. You need to accept a new experience in your life, even if it’s harmful to you now, which will make you wiser.

Why is it so important to accept a difficult life situation?

Accepting experiences means:

  • We know how to recognize what is good for us and what is not.
  • We take the certainty of both positive and adverse events.
  • We realize the consequences of any experience, regardless of how desirable it is for us.

Suppose we have experienced life experiences in non-acceptance. In that case, in condemnation, guilt, fear, regret, and other forms of denial of what happened, we may find ourselves in similar difficult life situations repeatedly, where we will try to deal with the past.

How long does despair last?


The duration of these experiences can vary. However, there is often a feeling that “I will never be happy again and that there is no hope for improvement.”

The earlier you share your feelings with specialists, the faster you get support and overcome difficult situations. Although opening up to others sometimes seems unsafe. Sometimes you want to tell someone how you feel, but at the same time:

  • You don’t know who might listen to you;
  • Worried that you won’t be understood;
  • Afraid of being judged;
  • You don’t want to upset the people closest to you.

It’s important to remember that you deserve support, you’re not alone, and there are always people around you ready to lend a helping hand.

Why are you in despair?

Difficult situations occur in the life of any person of any age, sex, or position in society. If you are familiar with such experiences, you have likely felt a growing sense of anxiety and despair for a long time. Sometimes thoughts consume you entirely, and it seems as if there is no control over your life. You may not know what has led you to such experiences, but it is usually a combination of several factors.

If you don’t know what’s causing your feelings, it may be harder to believe you can get rid of them. But whatever the cause, there are always people ready to help you deal with those feelings. “Whenever I realize I’m hit with anxiety and worry, I remind myself that those feelings can change instantly. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow morning, and the joy will return because it’s happened so many times before.”

How can you help yourself right now?


You may be so lost, angry at the world, feeling so much pain inside that it may seem like there is no end in sight. But it’s important to remember that these feelings can’t and won’t last forever. They will pass as all feelings pass.

There are a few steps you can take right now. Everyone is different, so you need to figure out what’s right for you.

Here are some practical tips that have already helped many people:

  • Tell someone about your condition: share it with a friend, a family member, or even your pet. It will help you feel like you’re not alone and that you can control yourself.
  • Tear a newspaper, magazine, or poster into hundreds of little pieces;
  • Take a contrast shower, and go to the sauna.
  • Align your breathing. Take deep breaths and exhale slower than usual. It will help you feel calmer.
  • Write about your experiences.
  • Go outside. Feel the rain, sun, or wind on your skin. Focus on something real until you feel better.
  • Meet up with friends. Call the helpline or connect with an online community if you can’t talk to someone you know.

How can you help yourself in the future?


If you’ve experienced something like this in the past or are still feeling depressed now, you may worry that these experiences will come back or get worse. But there are step-by-step tips to help you feel better during tough times, even if something like this comes back.

Try to make a plan when you’re calm and can identify what’s good for you. You may want to make a plan with a psychologist or a friend.