paperflower*

I was thinking…for me is better I don't romanticize things as much anymore. I was suffering so much all the time. I still have lots of dreams, but they're not in regard to my love life. It doesn't make me sad; it's just the way it is.

-Is that why you're in a relationship with somebody who's...never around?

Yes, obviously, I can't deal with the day to day life of a relationship. Yeah, we have, you know, this exciting time together and then he leaves and I miss him, but at least I'm not dying inside. When someone is always around me, I'm like suffocating!

-No, wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved...

Yeah, but when I do, it quickly makes me nauseous! It's a disaster...I mean, I'm really happy only when I'm on my own. Even being alone...it's better than...sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. It's not so easy for me to be a romantic. You start off that way, and, after you've been screwed over a few times...You... you forget about all your delusional ideas, and you just take what comes into your life.

Before sunset

what am I suposed to do now?

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