My novel Unforgettable' 42/44
Kaori smiled and looked up at the sky, and then she bent her head at once and shook her head.
“Impossible. Kei will blame me someday. I will blame you who blame me. I’m sure we get confused and untangle it…we repeat that all the way.”
“But…” Kaori said and drooped her head.
“But I wanted to see you like this. Even if we have an argument and a bitter quarrel, I wanted to see you…but it was really good to see you without such a situation…”
….I blame Kaori? Why could I blame her, looking at her haggard, thin appearance? Of course I had anger for Osawa, too….It’s not jealousy…..
It’s a hesitant feeling that transcend the anger for him….But if I shake my fist at him, Kaori as she was will be back as she was? Even Kaori would not hope like that…
Rip current welled up filled Kei’s heart and his shake increased
“Remember? I asked why you accessed SNS one day….”
Kaori gently touched a profile of Kei who bent his head trembling, and she nodded.
“….I was sad. I thought someone might understand me. Yeah, I thought so. I am such a guy. I couldn’t be a strong guy like Osawa. I ‘m sure I can’t….”
Kaori silently hugged Kei who was crying as he trembled clenching his teeth. Kei’s tremble never stopped in Kaori’s soft warmth. Harder Kei tried to withhold the small tremble that sprang up in his mind, more the lines of tears increased. Kaori silently whispered in Kei’s ear. He was still trembling.
“But the strong guy, Osawa-san also needed me as well as Kei…Kei, nobody is so strong……”
The figure which grew to his feet suddenly disappeared and the cold sunlight came in. Kei couldn’t repress and murmured again and again in Kaori’s breast
“I don’t ask you to come back soon…..I’m waiting, waiting long. So I want you to stay beside me all the time…maybe, I can’t live alone…..”
Kaori released Kei of her breast and said staring into Kei’s downcast face.
“Kei, listen to me carefully….You‘ve got a talent others don’t have. I can’t say well what it is….But I’ve felt so since we met… Everyone wants it, but no one gets it, something a little bit….Kei, you do have it. I think so. Don’t lose the rare, precious gift.”
“Kaori, you always talk about it, but I don’t have such a thing. You overestimate me. What Osawa said before was just right. I don’t have such a precious talent.”
Kei was crying dropping to his knees. Kaori also sat down and patted Kei’s hair. Kaori said like chiding Kei who was sobbing.
“Even now I still think that you’ve got it. That’s why I’m here now like this. I came here because I wanted to see you once again….But if I wish you to treasure the gift you’ve got, I think I must go away from you…”
“Do you understand?” Kei was crying with Kaori’s gentle words like a kid.
I want Kaori to stay beside me long like now….His heart filled with such a thought.
“Kaori, we can start over again. I don’t mind if we quarrel many times. I want to live with you like everybody does. Dinner with you, a normal life….Perhaps I just envy college students or businessmen. I think that I want to have fun with them and spend like they do. I bluffed looking askance at many things. I want to have a normal life with you….That’ it. I don’t want anything else…”
“Kei, remember? I told you. A man who realized must go for it….”
The train rails were shaking feebly. It was the time the train arrives. Kei noticed it and looked up at Kaori. She was looking at the end of the railroad in the morning sun.
Kaori bent down and hugged Kei once again. Then she kissed his bright cheek with the morning sun. And the warmth of the touch drew Kei’s tears. Kaori said that the train was approaching with the noise getting bigger.
“Kei, stand up.”
Kaori slowly pulled up Kei’s shoulders and murmured to the town of white quietness.
“Look! Everyone is still sleeping…..”
Kei looked up at Kaori’s profile, and the moment he tried to rest his gaze on the town, the strong wind swept away the scene. The scene was closed and blue of the train flew. It gradually sounded heavier and slowly shook the surroundings. Then it stopped and the door opened.
“Kei, I’m going.”
The gentle morning sun fell on Kaori’s mouth and shone.
He just wanted to tell her this word, but his heart was too full to talk….
Kei was just standing there looking at Kaori’s smile. She was waving lightly through the dim glass, leaning against the door.
The train left. Kei stood there until the train became small and was lost to his view.
Kei thought that he spent much time to get to his house and open the front door. There was not a shift in a sense of distance, but the time veered back and forth.
When Kei laid his hand on the front door, his fingertips suddenly stopped. In a crack in the aluminum door, he found a small paper stuck. The moment Kei slowly pulled it out, he started to run for the way back. While Kei was running to the station again, he gazed at it. It was Osawa’s card.
On July 22 2011 18 Views