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You can take an old wooden chair and change its covers, but even though it looks new, its still that same old wooden chair... and thats where we have to break through in life and be able to see that life is not what it looks like, though what it is in essence.

You see, you can make things look better, act as if thing were going in other paths, but all this can only serve you as a temporary exit of what you're really heading to.

We know what we have and we know what we get, its more we know how things are going to work out, we know whats wrong and whats right, we can even dare to say what will future hold for us.

But you see, these are thoughts that we don't really take into matter, what fun is life if we just knew everything, how can you expect something, even hold your hopes for something, if you already know the answer.

Well thats where I come in, my mind, things work in there in a curious way, even knowing what I'm getting or what I'm going to get, I still play a game, the game of life; I trick myself into seeing things where there's nothing. But let me say one thing, living like this, makes me happy, and even thought, sometimes I'll probably sit down and cry, realizing thats its just not going anywhere, I'll probably wake up next morning and just start again, living that life of lies and mystical thoughts, where everything goes as you want it to, until probably another night where I come home, sad, and partially depressed, feeling like nothing, taking some pills to sleep and writing this for no reason, writing the words of a mad man.

Am I mad for thinking like this? Is this what I expect of life? felling blue at 3 am? Whats gone wrong? What have I done? Why me? Why do I deserve this? Who's fault is it? Why am I making myself so many fucking questions? You know, at these times, its hard to channel all this bullshit, and thats why I end up taking some drugs, drugs that calm me, drugs that make me sleep, drugs that take my mind elsewhere.

The fact is, I just took 60mg of Codeine, and they're working fine, I'm already getting that sleepy feeling that I need, finally my day's coming to an end.

I cant really say if its been a good or bad day, cant make review of it. Facts and feelings don't go along very nicely, and since one can have a good time but feel depressed, its hard to tell if you really had a good time, or if you were influenced by your mind, and here we loop back to the begging where its just the thoughts of a mad man.

I warn all who read this, this text has just been written from my mind to this entry, its normal that maybe there are parts where its not coherent, and maybe theres no order in my writing, but its just my thoughts, so dont bother in telling me whats wrong or right.

Once again, from my desk, at 3:22 am, a mad mad with mad thoughts...

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