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Internet Disease

Displaying old, faded, blurred or otherwise non-descript photographs of oneself, taken with bad lighting and at awkward angles, on the Internets in order to make you appear more attractive to people online than you are IRL. Internet disease was invented in 1998 by Natsuki, a Jap living in Michigan at the time.

Internet disease manifests itself in different symptoms.

An internet diseast photo is taken with the subject standing at an angle, thereby hiding his or her obesity. Also the contrast of the photo is increased dramatically in order to obscure unattractive facial features, like acne and the nose.

By using such techniques, which are dealt with in greater detail below, individuals afflicted with the Internet disease are able to conceal the fact that they are an unattractive person, and instead become a figure envied by others. In a desperate attempt to look like the victims of Internet disease, admirers use the very same techniques as the admiree(s), thus further propagating the disease.

In 2004, the World Health Organization (WHO) released statistics showing that over 30 million teenage girls in the United States alone suffer from Internet disease (ID), over half of which have led to disappointing meetings with IRC and AOL boys. The paper also claimed that ID is especially dangerous because desperate men far too often end up having unprotected sex with female ID sufferers anyway, leading to the birth of many ID inherent babies, causing the problem to live on. The WHO has suggested the immediate use of condoms and sterility surgery for all men on the Internets, as well as fallopian-tying for all ID female sufferers.

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