RICHARD: When you were born, I decided to celebrate, so as soon as your mother went to sleep, I left the hospital, I called my business manager and I made a real estate investment.

LORELAI: You do know how to party, don’t you?

RICHARD: I made this investment in your name.

LORELAI: Wow, most people just buy a stuffed bear. This is better.

RICHARD: I thought so. Anyhow, a little while ago, I got a letter from a lawyer who is representing the investment group informing me that the government is building a road right through the middle of your investment.

LORELAI: Sad.

RICHARD: Which means that the complex has been sold and all the investors will be receiving a check.

LORELAI: Happy.

RICHARD: Since you are one of the investors. . .

LORELAI: I get a check?

RICHARD: You get a check.

LORELAI: Wow! That’s. . .[opens the envelope] Seventy-five thousand dollars?

RICHARD: Yes, it is.

LORELAI: I get seventy-five thousand dollars for being born?

RICHARD: I thought it would be a pleasant surprise.

LORELAI: This is seventy-five thousand dollars. Seventy-five. . .do you have a pen?

RICHARD: Why, yes, I do.

LORELAI: Seventy-five thousand dollars. Seventy-five thousand dollars. Oh my God, that’s like 150 pairs of Jimmy Choos.

RICHARD: What are Jimmy Choos?

LORELAI: Shoes.

RICHARD: 150 pairs, that’s it?

LORELAI: Dad, they’re Jimmy Choos.

RICHARD: For seventy-five thousand dollars, you should be able to buy at least three or four hundred pairs of shoes.

LORELAI: Not Jimmy Choos.

RICHARD: But that’s ridiculous. You are not going to spend seventy-five thousand dollars on Jimmy Choos when you could buy four hundred pairs of less prestigious but I’m sure equally stylish shoes. You will shop around first. Is that clear?

LORELAI: Yes, sir.

RICHARD: All right, then. It’s settled.

LORELAI: Listen, Dad, this money isn’t, um. . .

RICHARD: Isn’t what?

LORELAI: It isn’t some kind of gift, is it?

RICHARD: Gift?

LORELAI: Like a birthday gift. Because if it is, it’s too much and I can’t –

RICHARD: This isn’t a gift. I made this investment in your name. You received a check, that’s the way these things work. Legally, I’m obligated to give you that. This isn’t charity or generosity, it is the law.

LORELAI: It’s the law that I get to keep seventy-five thousand dollars.

RICHARD: Enjoy the shoes.


:)

On January 22 2007 Edit

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