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About me

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i no longer live here

june, 2007


--

sorry about the only friends and favourite listing but
i'm sick of spanish and brazilian comments i cannot
understand not to mention ceaseless link spamming.
if you really feel you have to tell me something and
you aren't on my allowed list go ahead and mail me



august, 2005

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I can connect
Nothing with nothing.
The broken fingernails of dirty hands.
My people humble people who expect
Nothing.
la la

To Carthage then I came

Burning burning burning burning
O Lord Thou pluckest me out
O Lord Thou pluckest


burning




march. 2005.






*




twenty-seven
is maybe

http://202.134.160.41/radiant/la-femme-de-opera.html

not so bad
woman.


[picture credit: hello you]







january, 2005





*



http://202.134.160.41/radiant/too-late.html


my camera speaks to me in the voice of walt whitman

"whoever you are holding me now in hand
without one thing all will be useless
i give you fair warning, before you attempt me further
i am not what you supposed but far different

who is he that would become my follower?
who would sign himself a candidate for my affections?

the way is suspicious— the result uncertain, perhaps destructive
you would have to give up all else— i alone would expect to be your god sole and exclusive
your novitiate would even then be long and exhausting
the whole past theory of your life and all conformity to the lives around you would have to be abandoned
therefore release me now before troubling yourself any further— let go your hand from my shoulders
put me down and depart on your way

for it is not for what i have put into it that i have written this book
nor is it by reading it you will acquire it
nor do those know me best who admire me and vauntingly praise me
nor will the candidates for my love (unless at most a very few) prove victorious
nor will my poems do good only— they will do just as much evil, perhaps more
for all is useless without that which you may guess at many times and not hit— that which i hinted at
therefore release me and depart on your way."


~natasha (may 2004, a new beginning)
using: a nikon 5700





i had to update this mini-biography because-
well, some things have changed. for instance
i now have a job. it keeps me occupied, and
therefore, less sad. (i used to be sad all the
time.. one of those personality quirk things)
then. a lot of my inspirons owed their craft
to my oh so embittered soul (an unrequited love
says it all, its an old song i know) BUT. that`s
changed too. to blow not a very loud trumpet lastly-
http://www.livejournal.com/~radiantbear &
http://www.livejournal.com/~mackerel_sky
are still regularly updated. i guess i`m not THAT
stable, after all :) and if you`re curious about the
*radiantbear* nomer, here`s where it orginated
http://202.134.160.41/radiant/artwork/artworkframe.html
(the very first thing i ever designed on my love- adobe)


ps: the older *mini-biography* has been left here
out of deference to the past. someone once told me
you can`t escape it. but you can respect its passing.



~natasha, march 2004








/


so i`ve decided i need a minibiography.

except. there isn`t much to say at the moment.

i write.
(your scudded cloud is nestled here http://www.livejournal.com/~mackerel_sky)

and i`m terrible with the other stuff (here dey be dragons: http://www.livejournal.com/~radiantbear) but this doesn`t stop me from doing it anyway.

i dream a lot.

i`ve been currently between jobs for the last year and a half.

i find repitition boring but my writing doesn`t vary much so hey, look who`s playing exception to the rule..

this is making me sound very dull!
ohh
what a pity..!

to understand dullness is to dream of glitter, glisten, gleam and polish...

(come up and see me, make me shine :)


a few other fragments:

i love my cheap nikon that i bought with my first decent paypacket... i may have to sell it soon and i don`t know how that will feel.

.. i`m a slob and i like my mess exactly the way it is.

i like lamps, all sorts of lamps.. and dried leaves, and chiffon curtains, and dead flowers, and winter sunlight, and old stone statues...

my dog ego is the only woman i have ever truly and completely loved.

i am trying to randomise myself with discipline.


i wonder who`s reading me now?
whose silent eyes are tapdancing over my words?

making me real. recreating me, again and again, in a virtual void of endless meaning...

stranger with curious eyes, you`re welcome here.


~natasha, fall in a withering august, 2003






















if you should forget me
i will disappear as quietly
as the white snow off the trees
one morning, with the cold absence of green
naked, your branches will stare emptily at the moon
outside our window, remembering at last
how we once slept here entangled
each night, listening to the wind
moving in the leaves

/


~natasha, spring is the cruellest month, 2003
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abandoned by stars, Mahārāshtra, India
Female

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April 12, 2003
  • canon 1DS mark II (Digital)

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